Week 3 - No More Whatevers
I’ve realized that my anxiety had been pretty high so fast this year. I think part of that has to do with the fact that I’m being hit with a barrage of possibilities, opportunities, and obstacles lately. And for the first time in a while, I’m being really conscientious with all of them. I’m definitely trying to stop saying “Whatever” to things because everything should matter. I think we are living in a world that is increasingly becoming “Whatever” about a lot. And that usually means a sort of resignation to accept all the horrible things happening in the world now.
This past week has been great and momentous. My studying for GRE paid off, I believe. I think, based on my confidence that my two essays made sense, that I got a good score on Analytical Writing. As for Verbal and Quantitative, I got a 161 and 166, respectively. They changed the scoring system. I think each section is based on 170 overall. I’m proud of myself for not being “Whatever” about this. And having positive results come out of hard work.
I treated my dad and the rest of the family to Salakot Sizzle and Grill for my dad’s 60th birthday. Salakot, which is in the Historic Filipinotown district of LA, close to the corner of Beverly and Alvarado, is one of my more favorite sit-down Filipino restaurants. It’s not too oily, which is a big complaint for Filipino food, and the food is familiar but distinctly tasty at the same time.
(I covet the adobo rice.)
I admit that I tend to be more of the planner in my family. If it wasn’t up to me, my dad wouldn’t have had any type of family gathering for his birthday. And even though my dad and I definitely have our differences, he’s my dad. I can’t deny that he helped shape who I am today, for better or for worse. We celebrated by gossiping, laughing, and telling stories of the courtship of my parents. I finally learned why my dad’s mom, who I never met, approved so much of my mom. She thought my mom was strong. Whether that meant physically strong or emotionally and mentally strong, who knows? A strong argument could be made for either.
And last but definitely not least: a dance audition. My old theatre instructor in Berkeley, Joyce Lu, told me about an audition this past Sunday. I usually don’t do auditions; performances usually come to me by chance or luck or connections. But, I decided why not? If I’m to dance more this year, I need to learn the audition process. And most likely have rejections along the way. I spent a majority of Saturday agonizing over choreographing 30 second segments for three songs picked by the auditioner and one picked by me. I chose Erykah Badu’s “Agitation”. I really need to figure out my own way of choreographing, because I opted for more of a slightly improvised audition. I kinda knew what to do, but there’s risk in getting lost in the middle of dancing. The day of the audition, I was second. The woman before me was amazing; she was technically sound and has been dancing most of her life compared to my measly five or six years. I was up. I thought my first 30 second segment was choppy and haphazard. My eyes were closed the whole time. But the middle two were inspired. Yes! And the last segment was meh. I left the audition anguished; my perfectionist side was beating myself up over it. I could’ve prepared better. But then, I realized that, for the amount of time I spent working on the audition, I did a fairly good job. A few hours later, I got a call from the auditioner: I got a spot for the upcoming performance!
And what a performance!
I will be performing contemporary/lyrical as a guest artist with the Philippine dance troupe Kayumanggi ng Lahi at the Getty on March 17 and 18. Admittedly, I’m excited. Last year, I dreamed of collaborating with them someday, mixing Philippine traditional and contemporary elements. And the dream is becoming a reality sooner than I expected!
